To better yourself, first be yourself

Every January 1, likely, you make a resolution. By February 1, you may already have blown it. A new year doesn’t necessary mean you have to totally change from ‘A’ to ‘Z’ with just a snap of your fingers (or in this case, on the stroke of midnight).

Sometimes, it’s just about improving your old self. Your 2017-self might not be all that bad, though there are some aspects that you could be better at. To better yourself, first be yourself. Find out what you want to change and improve on. Start small and start where you are. Work on it step by step. It’s all about the small changes that you do to improve yourself that will make you feel accomplished as 2018 goes by.

What are the steps or “practices” we need to do to help us be ourselves?

Set a clear intention

“I want to know and be true to myself.”

Pay attention to what brings you joy

This raises your levels of energy and excitement, brings contentment, or activities that you can become totally lost in like painting, working with children, or planting pots of flowers.

Conversely, pay attention to what depletes you

Or what causes you to be afraid, makes you feel off-balance, or gives you the nagging feeling that you are pretending to be someone you are not. The choices we make in small moments can add up to big chances in our lives.

Use your imagination

Take a few moments each day or give yourself time for discovery. Meditate, or write in your journal, or walk in nature, try a class you always wanted to take to expand how you see your life. Get to know how you feel. Empty your brain of expectations and “shoulds’ so you can expand your awareness of possibilities.

Don’t judge yourself

As you get to know the truth of who you are, the more you accept yourself, the less energy you waste on worry and negative thoughts. Use that energy to discover new way to make your life work for you. Use that energy to express yourself.

Ask for help

Every human has experienced the pain of disconnection, fear and security. We can learn from one another and get encouragement.

Take risks and make course corrections as needed

Remember that each of us will forget who we are sometimes and get off course. That is when we go back to the practices. If we feel our true self I not in alignment with the life we are living, then our practices can help us to change a career, relationships, ways of thinking, or lifestyles.

Don’t blame other for your unhappiness

You’re the only person responsible for living your own life and making your own choices.

Remember we are not in control of everything and we don’t know everything

Many self-help programs empower us, but also enforce the false idea that we can always be in control of our lives and the world around us. This thinking puts us on a hamster wheel of trying to be perfect or to control everything.

Consider that what we choose to do in small moments of our lives does matter

Are we choosing to move closer to our truest best self, or away? This choice we have control over. The more in touch we are with ourselves, the whisperings of our own hearts and not just our rational minds or ego, the better we can make those decisions. As Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”



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