There are four elements of effective listening.

One, listen attentively. Pay close attention to what is being said. Listen without interrupting and without attempting to interrupt. Listen patiently, listen quietly, listen with completely focused attention on the other person.

Two, pause before replying. When you pause before replying, you avoid interrupting the individual if he or she is simply stopping to gather his or her thoughts. When you pause, you convey that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words. And, when you pause you hear what the other person has said better.

Third, question for clarification. Ask open-ended questions: "What do you mean?" People will often rephrase what they said in words that make it easier for both of you to understand. Ask other questions that start with the words "how, who, what, where, when and why." These open-ended questions give people a chance to expand or clarify their thought.

Fourth, feed it back in your own words. Paraphrase what the person has said and then ask them to agree if you have it correctly. When the individual responds by saying, "Yes, that's it," you are then in a position to respond to the real message that was sent.

Listening builds trust. We trust people who listen to us. And we are more open to their influence, guidance, and persuasion.

So, listen carefully to what others are saying. And, be willing to be influenced by them, just as you wish them to be influenced by you. Communication is a two-way process.